How to Live with a Phantom
Catalina Gonzalez Gonzalez
Germany / 2024 / Experimental, Documentary / 21’19”I2502818
SYNOPSIS
How to live with survivor’s guilt? How to grow old in the distance? How to love while being in constant transit? ‘How to live with a phantom’ is a filmic research into the experience of inhabiting two places at the same time, into being filled with desire but unable to go beyond physical intimacy. The film deals with the difficulties of life in liminality, where migration laws, other politics or family problems make a forced departure an ever present threat and where there is no space to settle. This short film is a hybrid between fiction scenes and my personal diary. It portrays the daily life of a thirty-something Colombian lesbian in Hamburg, who is deeply affected by the National Strike happening 9188 kilometers away in their hometown, Bogotá, and yet it feels ominously close. The film moves through uncertainties, gray zones and queerness. The ghost it‘s what cannot be grasped, it is the transit, the ethereal, the undefinable. Trains, boats, planes, shadows, reflections, water, radio, fog. The short film works with the blurring of the boundaries between different places, between presence and absence, between friendship and romantic love, between intimacy and coldness and between life and death.
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